


Avenger’s Family Meeting (Or how Tony’s idea solved everyone’s problems)

by AgeOfMiracles



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Peggy Carter, Bucky is kind of an asshole, Everyone is so done with waiting for Clint to catch up, F/M, Hurt Steve Rogers, M/M, Oblivious Clint, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Tony, Steve Angst, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 00:12:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6930082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeOfMiracles/pseuds/AgeOfMiracles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was drowning again. Steve could feel the ice sliding down his throat. He could feel the cold seeping into his skin slowing his heart. For some reason everyone thought he was asleep during the ice and Steve supposed that was logical, he should have been knocked unconscious when he crashed the Valkyrie. But he wasn’t. He could still hear Peggy’s voice at night pleading with him. It would haunt him forever but he couldn’t stop himself. After all what do you live for when your reason to live is dead? Steve thought death would be more peaceful. But he could feel an annoying itch in his side and there was a voice, a quiet whisper that made Steve ache all over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avenger’s Family Meeting (Or how Tony’s idea solved everyone’s problems)

Bucky had been back for three months now. Steve, Sam and Nat found him waiting in a car in Brooklyn of all places. Three months since he had returned. Three months since he decided that he didn’t want to remember Steve or their friendship. Sure, he had no choice. His memories would come back little by little but he couldn’t even be in the same room as Steve. He would spend hours in the shooting range with Clint, help Tony tinker in his workshop, he would meditate and drink tea with Bruce and Vision, but most of the time he would be found with Natasha.  
Clint, Nat and Bucky had become fast friends, speaking in fast Russian that even Friday had a hard time translating. They spent all their time together sparring and watching movies together. But Bucky could not be alone with Steve. When all the avengers were together Bucky would stay on the other side of the room with Natasha and Clint but when there was less people Bucky would practically run out of the room. Sam and the rest of the Avengers seemed to be waiting for Steve to break but Steve wouldn’t do that. It didn’t matter what he wanted as long as Bucky was happy. So Steve kept up his calm façade, respecting Bucky’s wishes but on the inside he was slowly cracking. He felt that just one tap and he would shatter. He thought maybe Sam saw it because he tried to get Steve to talk several times but Steve couldn’t, he could bear the weight of his own problems. All that mattered was that Bucky was alive and ok, even if he hated Steve. Well, he wasn’t sure of Bucky hated him, but he certainly made sure Steve knew he wasn’t wanted anymore and yeah, that hurt a lot, but Steve could deal. Bucky was here and happy which was more than Steve ever hoped for. He had Sam, Bruce, Tony and even Vision who was surprisingly easy to talk too, and when Nat and Clint were not with Bucky he would talk with them but he could see the pitying looks in their eyes and Steve couldn’t stand it. But he could bear it as long as needed. If Bucky hated him for the rest of his life that was ok, Steve deserved it. Little did Steve know he would soon find out how wrong he was.  
Hydra had surprised them. One moment they were fighting and winning the next Hydra had sent out an electromagnetic pulse that shorted out Tony’s suit and Sam’s wings for a minute so they were grounded. The hulk pulled them into his massive green chest and sheltered them from the chaos. Clint’s bow was out too and he and Natasha were fighting hand to hand. Hill had landed the helicarrier somewhere safe and Steve could see Bucky using his knife to strike down enemy after enemy to his left. The fight had mostly waned when Tony’s suit came back online so he and Sam called back Maria. Steve was about to check on everyone when he saw a flash at his 2 o’clock. A sniper rifle pointed at Bucky. Steve called out but the helicarrier muffled his shout. Steve ran for him. 

“Bucky! Watch out!”  
Bucky turned towards just as Steve reached him. A single shot rang out. Blood ran from Steve chest and his vision blurred slightly. Steve could see Bucky staring at him in shock. Sam flew over with Tony. 

“Steve! Someone get him to the tower!” 

He could feel Tony’s metal arms closing around him. Steve wondered why everything was going grey. Was he dying? Steve thought it was fitting his last act would be saving Bucky. He could feel the cold air swirling around him as he was lifted into the sky before his vision went white and Steve passed out.

 

He was drowning again. Steve could feel the ice sliding down his throat. He could feel the cold seeping into his skin slowing his heart. For some reason everyone thought he was asleep during the ice and Steve supposed that was logical, he should have been knocked unconscious when he crashed the Valkyrie. But he wasn’t. He could still hear Peggy’s voice at night pleading with him. It would haunt him forever but he couldn’t stop himself. After all what do you live for when your reason to live is dead? Steve thought death would be more peaceful. But he could feel an annoying itch in his side and there was a voice, a quiet whisper that made Steve ache all over. 

“I’m sorry Steve, I’m so sorry. Please wake up” The voice begged. Steve whimpered at the sorrow he heard. He wanted to go to the voice, it made him feel safe. He whispered a quiet goodbye to a non-existent Peggy and opened his eyes.

Steve was hit with a blinding light and the quiet beep of machines. He blinked and groaned groggily. 

“Bucky?” Steve rasped. 

“No sorry man, how you feeling?” Sam. Steve pushed his disappointment down. Sam had always been there for him. Steve didn’t deserve him. 

“What happened?” 

“You got shot, Steve. A few inches to the right and it would have hit your heart and killed you. What the hell were you thinking?” Sam hissed. Steve could hear the worry and immediately felt bad. 

“Sorry” he whispered. Sam sighed and waved it away. 

“Don’t worry about it, m’just glad you’re alive” Steve closed his eyes before inhaling quickly and trying to sit up. Sam pushed him back down. 

“Whoa man, you are still healing” 

“Bucky? Is he ok?” Steve gasped out.

“He’s fine, annoyed at you but ok” Steve sighed before allowing Sam to lay him back down. 

“Well, tell him that Hydra won’t get away, we will find them all.” 

“I don’t think that’s what he is mad at” Sam replied, looking at him strangely. Steve frowned and opened his mouth to speak but yawned instead. 

Sam patted his shoulder. “Sleep man, I’ll be here when you wake up.” Steve smiled and closed his eyes again, sleep immediately pulling him under.

When he woke again, it was dark outside but the city was no less quiet. The city lights still littered the horizon and the streets filled with people and beeping cars. Steve turned over and peeled off the bandage over his chest, the ache was completely gone and only a slight tingle of feeling and the raw pink tinge to his skin remained. Sam snored lightly, slumped in the chair next to him. Steve touched his arm and Sam immediately awoke. 

“Hey, feeling better?” Steve nodded. 

“Much, am kinda hungry though.” Sam stood and grabbed some clothes from behind him, 

“Here, everyone is eating dinner downstairs, I’ll be outside.” 

Steve pulled on his pants and grabbed a jumper as well, he could still feel the phantom touch of ice on his skin. Steve hated the cold. He wrapped himself in his blankets at night to keep the ice at bay. He splashed some water in his face, trying to get rid of the tell-tale signs of sleep deprivation under his eyes. Sam was waiting net to the elevator. 

“All good?” Steve wasn’t sure, but he nodded anyway. As soon as the elevator opened the chatter died down as everyone came rushing over to see if he was ok. 

“Welcome back to the land of the living Cap” Stark clapped his shoulder. 

Steve smiled and Natasha kissed his cheek and led him over to the table. Sam and Steve were the only ones in the tower who could actually cook a meal so most of the time takeaway was ordered. Tonight was Italian. Pizza boxes and pasta and salad dishes covered the table. Thor and Clint were at one end, stuffing themselves and drinking, Natasha was next to Clint with Tony and Bruce opposite her talking loudly. Pepper was sitting next to Rhodey who was talking across the table at Bucky who hadn’t looked up the entire time. Steve presses a hand to his stomach and moved to sit down, his ribs ached now that he was walking. He bit back a groan as he sat across next to Bruce, who smiled kindly at him. 

“How are you feeling Steve?” 

“Better than I was, which is something I suppose” Steve frowned, he didn’t mean to say all that but Bruce only nodded. 

“You’re improving which can only be good.” Steve wasn’t so sure he could agree. The food disappeared quickly as usual with everyone at the table, usually Thor and Steve alone ate the same amount as everyone else put together but tonight Steve just felt sick, and he pushed his food around his plate. He felt a heavy gaze on his face and lifted his head but the chatter still floated around him and no one was looking at him. He turned to Bucky but he was still staring at his plate, occasionally looking up when he spoke. Steve pushed his hair out of his eyes, his ribs ached and his head pounded. It was so loud, the chatter was like a hammer hitting him every few seconds, his stomach rolled. Steve was going to be sick. He pushed back his chair and rushed from the room making it to the closest bathroom just in time to empty the contents of his stomach. His vision went white every time he bent over the basin, and his eyes rolled back in his head. He passed out right there on the bathroom floor. He woke up comfortable in his bed surround by soft pillows and blankets. He blinked groggily. 

“Are you feeling alright sir?” Steve started, reaching for his shield before realising it was Friday. 

“Ah yes, how did I get here?” He asked looking at the ceiling even though he knew Friday was everywhere. 

“Sargent Barnes found you passed out in the bathroom and he cleaned you up and carried you to bed” Steve frowned. 

“Oh, what time is it?” 

“9:30 in the morning, sir and the avengers are back on the main floor for breakfast.” 

“Thanks Friday” Steve pulled himself up and inspected his clothes. He frowned again, he wasn’t wearing this last night he thought. He grabbed a shirt and headed towards food. The avengers were seated on the couch watching TV, Bucky was talking with Pietro, Vision and Wanda who must have come in last night from their mission. When he walked in Wanda got up to hug him. 

“Good sleep?” She asked with a small smile, Steve realised he hadn’t had a nightmare, he stared for a moment. 

“Thank you.” She smiled, kissed his cheek and practically floated away. Wanda sometimes helped him in the night when he woke up screaming. She couldn’t do it all the time because she couldn’t tell where hers and Pietro’s dreams started and where Steve’s had but it was something and he was thankful for her. Pietro appeared next to him and Steve ruffled his hair, 

“How are you doing buddy?” 

“I am good, is nice to be home” Pietro said, he was staring at Clint which Steve though he did quite a lot. Clint might notice it too but he was surprisingly blind to these kind of things. Pietro ushered him to the table. Everybody not so subtly stared as he sat down, Sam handed him a coffee and patted his shoulder as he went past. 

“How are you feeling Steve?” Pepper asked, sitting down next to him.

“Better thank you” She squeezed his hand in return. He turned to Bucky but didn’t quite look at his eyes, he instead opted to look at his mouth, which really wasn’t that much better. Steve spent hours as a kid drawing Bucky’s face, his eyes and lips were always the hardest. He could never quite get it right no matter how much Bucky said it was fine. Bucky always said it was fine, but it felt wrong to Steve and when he said that Bucky would just sigh and pull Steve into his lap. So he quickly looked up to his nose. 

“Thank you for what you did last night, I-I appreciate it” Bucky just grunted in reply. Looking back down at his coffee, Steve inwardly whimpered, he so wanted to reach out to Bucky, to touch him, to hold him just once. But Bucky would just push him away. He stared at the brown liquid, swirling in his cup, slowly going cold. Everything gets cold eventually he supposed before shaking himself free of that thought and standing to grab some food. Natasha joined him in the kitchen. 

“Are you two ever going to talk?” Steve froze for a second before continuing to butter his bread. 

“I accepted a long time ago that he doesn’t want to talk to me” Natasha frowned, opening her mouth, Steve cut her off. “I get it Nat, I really do. Hell I probably deserve it too but I’ll be ok, really, as long as he is happy I’ll be fine.” Natasha looked like he had just gave her the last piece to a big puzzle, “Nat what-“ She cut him off this time. 

“You both need to talk to each other” and walked off. Steve stared at her back. He could feel Bucky staring from across the room but when he looked up Bucky was talking to Bruce. Steve sighed and nibbled on his toast. He hadn’t eaten properly 48 hours but like last night eating made him feel sick. Steve had slowly been eating less and less over the past few months. He was sure no one had noticed and if they did they weren’t saying anything. 

A couple of weeks passed and Steve managed to eat enough without being sick so the team didn’t notice. He didn’t tell anyone that he couldn’t eat properly or that when he did he had to race to the bathroom when it all came back up or that the pains in his chest hadn’t subsided. He didn’t say a word. Not when he felt like he couldn’t breathe at night, or he sat on his bathroom floor cold and sweating. He ordered Friday not to say anything, that he could handle it and Friday did so albeit reluctantly. Steve thought he was getting better until one night he woke up choking on air. He couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t a panic attack, there was actually no air. Every breath he tried to take rattled his chest, he pushed himself off the bed trying to reach the door. Steve grabbed the handle before falling to the floor seizing. He could hear Friday’s faintly yelling in the background, but all he could focus on was his body jerking and seizing on the soft carpet. Steve heard yelling and someone pounding on the door before light flooded his vision and bodies rushed in. He felt someone’s hand on his forehead, Bruce, before everything went black. 

Steve woke up to hushed voices, talking quickly. 

“We’re lucky, if it wasn’t for the serum.”

“Why didn’t he say anything? He nearly died! Again!” Steve blinked and pushed himself into a sitting position. 

“Whoa, easy there man.” 

“Sam? What happened?” 

“You don’t remember? You passed out after we found you seizing on the floor. You were half dead.” 

Steve frowned. “I feel dizzy.” 

Bruce stepped forward, “I took a blood sample from you once you had stabilised. Steve, how long has it been since you had a full meal?” Steve looked down. 

“I don’t know, two weeks, maybe more?” Sam glared at him. 

“What? Why didn’t you say something?” Steve looked at him guiltily. 

“I didn’t think it was a big deal and you didn’t need my problems.” 

“I’m you friend, you can always talk to me man.” 

“You can talk to any of us” Steve looked up to see Natasha, Clint and Bucky walking in. 

“You scared us.” 

“Sorry Nat” Steve said sheepishly, “I didn’t think it was so bad, I was doing fine.” Bucky scowled. 

“Doing fine? You nearly died you idiot, you haven’t been eating properly for weeks, you’ve been sick in the bathroom, you passed out a couple of times and your wound was infected which caused you to have a massive asthma attack, which part of that is fine to you?” Steve just glared. 

“What do you care?” he argued, Bucky looked like he wanted to hit him. 

“I think we should give you two some space” Clint said, stepping back, pulling a worried Wanda and Pietro with him. Tony hurriedly agreed and practically ran from the room with Vision, the others quickly following him. Natasha stopped in the doorway. 

“Don’t kill each other” she said and slammed the door shut. Steve stubbornly refused to look at Bucky. 

“Why do I care? I care because you nearly got yourself killed for no reason you stubborn little shit!” Steve sharply turned his head. 

“I had a perfectly good reason, that shot would have killed you!” Bucky scoffed. 

“So you jumped in front of me?” 

“Why not? I knew I had more chance of surviving than you” Steve said trying to sit back up. Bucky marched over and pushed him back down. 

“Let me up!” 

“You nearly died Steve! How can you not get that?” 

“I do get it but I did it for a good reason and I hope if I did die it would be in saving you!” Bucky took a step back in shock. 

“I am not worth you dying over.” 

Steve glared, knocking way Bucky’s hand and pushing himself up to stand. “When are you going to get it, you are worth it to me, you always have been.” Steve said, prodding Bucky’s chest. “I know you hate me, I know you can’t stand to be around me but you are and will always will be someone worth saving to me. You already died because of me once and I am not letting it happen again. I will spend the rest of my life jumping in front of bullets if I have to!” Bucky paled and stumbled back nearly falling over. 

“You can’t, you didn’t-“He said, breathing hyperventilating. Bucky backed up into a wall and sat down hard. He started gasping for breaths. Steve rushed forward and knelt down in front of him. 

“Bucky! Buck, it’s ok. Just breathe, I’m sorry, just breathe ok?” Bucky stared at him. “Follow my breathing yeah?” Bucky nodded and took a quick breath after Steve. “Good, you’re doing good, keep breathing.” Once Bucky was breathing normally again, he yanked his hand out of Steve’s grip and stood. Steve tried not to look hurt and pushed himself off the floor, holding his sore ribs. 

Bucky stared at him. 

“Bucky?” Steve tried, but as soon as he spoke, Bucky schooled his face back into that indifferent mask that Steve hated and stalked form the room. Steve was left standing frozen, wondering what he had done wrong. He promised himself he would never cry over Bucky but he found he could not stop the tears from streaming down his face. Steve tucked himself into the corner of the room and curled into a ball sobbing his heart out. He thought he could handle this, handle Bucky hating him but he couldn’t. Steve wanted to hug and kiss him and curl up next to him like he used too. But like Peggy said, he can never go back, no matter how much he wants too. And Steve tried, he really tried to move on from the past but after Bucky came back how could he move on when the past didn’t want to let him go. 

He heard the door creak open but Steve couldn’t lift his head. He felt a hand at his shoulder before someone pulled him into a hug and more tears wracked his body. 

“I’m sorry man.” 

“I don’t think I can do this anymore Sam, it hurts too much” He cried into Sam’s shoulder. He felt him, Sam couldn’t fully understand but knew it felt like to lose the love of your life. 

“I want to see Peggy” Steve said finally after minutes of silence broken up by sobs. 

“Ok, we can do that, do you want to go now?” Steve nodded and wiped at his eyes, letting Sam pull him up. 

“Friday? We’re leaving could you make sure the team doesn’t see us.” Steve tightly smiled his thanks and Sam squeezed his shoulder in return. 

“Of course sir should I tell them where you are going if they ask?” Sam looked to Steve who hesitated then nodded. 

“Yeah that’s fine but only if they ask.” 

“Certainly” Friday replied before opening the elevator for them. 

“Are you sure, you’re up for this Steve? You were just in hospital.” 

“I’ll be fine, I just need to see Peggy.” 

“Alright man, if you’re sure. We’ll take my car.” True to her word Friday got them out of the building without running into any of the team. 

Steve leant against the window of Sam’s car and watched the streets of New York whiz by. When they pulled up at Peggy’s retirement centre, Steve hesitated, steeling himself before hopping out. A cool breeze brushed his cheek as he and Sam walked up the pathway to the reception. 

“Do you need me to come in man?” Steve shook his head. 

“Ok, I’ll go find some food I think. I’ll be back in an hour.” Steve accepted his hug and watched him walk back out before following the nurse. He waited patiently as the nurse told him about Peggy’s condition. 

“It’s a good day today, she will be excited to see you. She tells me stories about you all the time. She misses you a lot I think.” Steve smiled tightly. The nurse knock quietly on the door and opened it when a soft come in floated through. 

“Peggy, you have a guest.” Steve slowly walked in. 

“Hey Peg” Peggy lit up when she saw him before frowning. 

“I’ll leave you to it” The nurse said, shutting the door behind her. Steve sat down next to the bed taking Peggy’s frail hand. She may have aged but Steve could still see hits of the firecracker of a girl who punched a recruit and was a great shot. Peggy was studying him quietly. 

“Steve, what’s wrong?” She said, furrowing her brow. Steve’s eyes teared up again, “Oh my darling, come here” She opened her arms and Steve fell into her warm embrace. 

“I can’t do it Pegs” He cried, “I thought I would do anything to get him back and I did, and now he back but he’s further away than ever and I can’t stand it anymore” Peggy shushed him, running her fingers through his blond locks. 

“You don’t have to do anything, my darling, you have saved us so many times already, you don’t owe us a thing.” She squeezed his hand tightly. “You have a life Steve, live it how you want to, whether it be with the avengers or travelling the world. Just do what makes you happy.” 

“I am not sure if I know how to be happy anymore” Steve said, pulling back slightly so he was resting his elbows on the bed. “The ice took everything from me and the one thing I got back hates me.” 

“Are you sure he hates you? The Barnes I know could never hate you. You were his whole world. He looked at you like you hung on the moon and you looked at him the same.” 

“That’s just it, he is not the same Bucky we knew, too much has happened for us to go back.” Peggy smiled sadly. 

“That doesn’t mean we can’t be happy. I found my happy ending and you will get yours Steve, I always believed you would.” 

“I think you just have to wait, he makes you happy Steve, he always did and you can’t deny that.” Steve nodded. 

“He does and he probably always will but he doesn’t want me anymore, he found his place and it’s not with me, I’ve accepted that” Steve murmured tiredly.

“I don’t think you believe that, somewhere deep down you hope he will come back to you and I hope that too Steve because you more than anyone deserve a happy ending.”  
The nurse came back in to say his time was up. 

“Until next time my darling.” Steve kissed her cheek. 

“Bye Pegs.” Sam was waiting at the front door. 

“You ok?” 

“I think so? I hope so” Sam smiled. 

“That’s the best we can do for the moment.” It was growing dark when Steve and Sam left the centre. The city was lighting up as they drove past. The tower a tall beacon standing strong in the centre as they arrived, the security letting them past immediately with small salutes to Steve. 

“Welcome back Captain and you Mr Wilson” Friday greeted as the entered the ground floor. 

“Hey Friday, is everyone gathered for dinner?” 

“Yes Captain, the avengers are all gathered on the main floor, Miss Foster and Thor arrived this afternoon. They also asked where you were as per our agreement I told them.” Friday sounded slightly regretful. 

“That’s ok Friday, main floor please.” 

“Certainly.” Steve started slightly as the elevator took them up 50 floors. Sam grabbed his hand and squeezed it. 

“You sure you don’t want to rest?” 

“No, I think I should eat” 

“Alright, but let me know immediately if you want to leave ok?” 

“I’ll be fine Sam but I promise I’ll let you know.” Thor loudly greeted them when they walked into the living room. 

“My friend, I have heard you were ill, I hope you are feeling better” Steve hugged him back, 

“Hey Thor, I am feeling much better.” Thor smiled. 

“I have brought my lady Jane for dinner tonight” Jane walked up and kissed them both on the cheek. 

“Hi Steve, Sam” Steve smiled while Sam engaged in small talk with her. Pepper came over and hugged him tightly. 

“Tell me if you need anything Steve, even to talk” His smile was watery. 

“Thanks Pepper.” Her return smile was as sweet as honey, Steve thought Tony was very lucky to have her. 

“Come on I’m hungry let’s eat!” Clint shouted. Pietro grumbled under his breath that he was always hungry. 

Clint turned to him, “What?!” Pietro ducked away rubbing his ear and scowling. Clint trailed after him, trying to get him to talk. Steve smiled, if they ever got together he had a feeling Pietro would be the adult in their relationship. Steve pulled out a seat next to Tony. 

“Hey Cap, you gonna eat this time?” Natasha scowled at him from across the table. 

“What?” Tony defended, “I not being nasty, I am being caring” Natasha just shook her head. 

“Don’t worry Tony, I will eat” 

“Worrying whose worrying, I’m not worried” Tony said but piled Steve’s plate with Thai anyway. Steve pushed it around his plate for a few minutes while everyone else stuffed themselves. He was trying to eat, he did have a few mouthfuls whenever Nat, Sam or Tony looked at him. Bruce looked over as well staring him down till he took a bite. But for the most part he just stared at everyone else, laughing and talking and having fun. Steve could see Thor talking with Clint, who was oblivious to Pietro glaring at him every few mouthfuls. Wanda and Vision talking in hushed tones. Just looking at them all eating made him feel sick, he didn’t know what was wrong with him, he always had a big appetite because of the serum. It started about three months ago around the time Bucky- No it wasn’t Bucky, Steve didn’t have a problem with him being here but it had to mean something. Maybe he should talk to Sam. Steve was stuck in his thoughts, his fork picking at his food when he felt someone looking at him. Bucky was staring from across the table three seats down, probably more darkly glaring than staring. Steve looked at him and Bucky pointedly looked at Steve’s almost full plate and then glared some more. Steve shied away and looked down meekly shoving some food in his mouth. He hated that Bucky could still affect him this way even when they were so far apart. He unconsciously kept eating while he was thinking about Bucky and he looked down at his plate when he bit an empty fork. He looked down, his plate was empty. He had actually eaten a full meal. Steve throat closed up, and his stomach rolled. Steve pushed back his chair. 

“I think I might get some sleep, I’m rather tired.” Sam moved to get up but Steve waved him down. 

“I’m fine, just sleepy” he said, trying to keep his expression neutral as he moved away. Nobody stopped him as he forced himself to walk slowly. Steve nearly collapsed as he got into the elevator. 

“My floor please Friday” 

“Yes Captain, are you sure I shouldn’t call Mr Wilson or Miss Romanoff” 

“No, no there is no need to bother them” 

“As you wish sir” Friday said rather reluctantly. Steve rushed to his bathroom, but he didn’t throw up. He lay on the floor sweating and holding his chest. He felt like hand was the only thing holding his ribs together. 

“Captain I am afraid Sir overrode your privacy settings the last time you were in hospital so I am required to tell him of your current status” Steve couldn’t even bring himself to answer Friday, he just lay on the cold tiles, his breathing erratic and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, several faces were looking down on him. He sat up slowly guided by Sam. 

“Seriously man, you have got to stop doing this.” 

“Sorry” Steve muttered. Bucky snorted and rolled his eyes, Natasha smacked his head. 

“What, we all know he would keep hiding this from us, he never wants to become a burden which I think is stupid considering how he was before the serum” Bucky sneered. Natasha hit him again and Sam and Tony glared protectively. To Steve’s horror he started to sob again, clearly everyone else was not expecting it because Clint and Pepper gasped, and Natasha, Wanda and Bruce looked horrified as Sam and Tony tried to comfort him. Steve tried to stifle his cries but they just kept coming so he leant forward into Tony’s chest and sobbed uncontrollably. Tony froze and Steve almost pulled back to apologise but was stopped when Tony’s arms came wrapped around him and pulled him closer, almost into his lap. Steve cried, surrounded by the avengers. Sam, Tony and Pepper holding him with Clint, Wanda, Vision, Pietro, Thor and Jane looking upon them sadly. Bucky stood as the back looking strangely regretful. 

“Why does he hate me?” Steve whispered so only Sam, Tony and Pepper could hear him. Sam drew in a shocked breath but didn’t speak. 

“I don’t know, I really don’t know” Tony said, sending a death glare to Barnes who looked like he was shutting down. 

Wanda came forward, “I don’t think he hates you Steve, I think he is scared.” 

“Of me? Doesn’t he know I would never hurt him?” Natasha spoke this time as Bucky drew backwards even more. 

“Not of you, he is afraid of hurting you.” 

“What does he think he has been doing for the past few months if not hurting me?” 

“I really have no idea, he wouldn’t talk to me about it” Bucky glared at her. “Look James, we are all tired of this bullshit and what you have been doing to Steve so enough is enough you two have to sort this out.” 

“What if I don’t want to?” he asked scowling, which sent Steve into hysterics once again. 

Tony spoke angrily, “Right I have had enough of this.” He turned to Bucky, “I have watched Steve slowly withdraw into himself over the past few months. I have watched him do everything he could to help you while you pushed him away, he hasn’t been eating or sleeping since you turned up. This is my tower so you will talk!” Tony yelled trying to stand but Steve was still clinging to him pathetically so he couldn’t go far. 

Tony turned back to him, “Sorry Steve, didn’t mean to scare you” Steve just shook his head trying to keep back the tears. Tony sighed and pulled him back into a hug before standing him upright. 

“Let’s talk.” Everyone gathered on Sam’s floor, stretching over the couches. There was silence for a moment before Bucky spoke. 

“I didn’t know he had got this bad.” Steve glared at him for talking like he wasn’t in the room, 

“What you didn’t notice that I was in hospital a lot or wasn’t eating?” Steve shot back and scoffed, “You are as bad as Clint.” 

Clint looked up at that, “What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve gestured to Pietro and Clint just looked back and forth between them. “I don’t get it.” Pietro sighed and shrugged at Steve as if saying ‘what can you do’. Natasha picked up on where Steve was going. 

“He is in love with you, idiot.” Clint blinked, “Steve?” Pietro sighed even louder. 

“No Pietro!” Tony yelled. Clint froze and Pietro stood looking at his feet, about to leave. Wanda was glaring at Clint. 

“Pietro” she started, but Clint interrupted her by grabbing Pietro and pulling him into a bruising kiss. 

“I love you too idiot,” Pietro frowned, but kissed him again. 

“Why am I the idiot? You are the one who did not notice my frankly very obviously attempts at coming on to you” Clint just smiled and kissed him again. Everyone sighed and muttered ‘finally’ under their breath. Clint sat down and pulled Pietro into him, Pietro looked more than happy to be there. 

“Oookay, we seem to be heading in the direction of a family meeting so who is next? I nominate Steve and Bucky, show of hands” Tony said and everyone raised their hands and laughed when Steve and Bucky wore identical scowls. 

“Come on guys, I know you don’t like it but you need it, well I don’t know about you Barnes but Steve isn’t coping, at all.” 

“Sam” Steve started. 

“No Steve, you are not doing well, you’re not sleeping no matter how much you try to hide it, you get sick whenever you eat, you broke down twice today and I cannot even begin guess what Peggy said to you and I think I know what hurts you the most” 

“Please Sam” Steve begged, tearing up again. The avengers were confused looking back between them both. 

“I’m sorry Steve, I didn’t pay enough attention, but it’s Bucky right? All of this started when he turned up.” Bucky flinched.

“No I am not blaming him. I may not like him for making Steve cry and hurting him” he said at Natasha’s glare. Bucky paled slightly. “This is you Steve, your guilt and PTSD, only you can help yourself.”  
Bucky eyes were searing, staring straight at Steve who couldn’t hold it and looked his hands. Steve didn’t want to do this, he didn’t think he was ready to bare his soul. Nobody spoke for a minute. 

“Seriously guys, one of you has to start” Bruce said, “It will be good for the both of you.” Steve continued looking down, wringing his hands nervously. He could still feel Bucky’s gaze, once upon a time he loved having Bucky’s attention but now it just felt heavy, tugging on his chest. He heard Bucky sigh. 

“Apparently I’m starting. Well, I don’t hate Steve, I never have but I can’t be who he wants me to be, too much has changed, I’ve changed.” Natasha and Clint nodded in understanding. Steve was glaring at him at this point, growing angry. 

“That’s it?” he growled. 

“Steve, this is a problem for him, don’t make him feel small” Natasha said, angrily. 

“I’m not” he turned back to Bucky, “You made me think that you hated me because you felt that I wanted you to be someone you’re not?” 

Bucky ground his teeth, “Is that not a good enough reason for you Rogers?” 

“You still don’t get it do you? I don’t care that you can’t be the old Bucky. I get that he’s dead, the old Steve Rogers is dead too, I just needed my best friend. To me you are Bucky, everything that has happened to changed you I get that but you are still my Bucky and no matter what you do nothing will change that” Steve was whispering by the end, everyone had leaned forward to hear. Bucky was staring at Steve dumbfounded. Steve ran a hand through his hair, “Look I am not coping without, I need you Buck, I always have. I can’t sleep because all I see every night is your face as you fall from that train. I can’t eat because I look at you and I’m reminded of everything you went through because of me and what I want most is to hug and touch you so I know we are really here and I’m not going to wake up one day and still be frozen in the ice.” Steve took a deep breath, trying to keep a lid on his whirling emotions before he starts crying again. “I just want my best friend back. I don’t care how broken you think you are or how dangerous, you are my home you always have been and I can’t live without again. The first time you died, I died along with you. If you leave me, I won’t survive.” Steve pleaded. Bucky looked scared. 

“Yo-you said you didn’t put the Valkyrie in the water because of me” He stuttered. 

“I would do anything to keep you from being hurt which includes hurt I inflict myself so I lied to save you the pain.” Steve shrugged.

“I never blamed you Stevie not for anything.” Steve looked down at his feet, feeling the pain from the nickname. Bucky sighed and marched over to Steve yanking him up into a bone-crushing hug. The avengers cheered and Steve melted into his touch straight away. Bucky was warm and whole and touching him again felt like coming home. 

“I missed you Stevie, I’m sorry, I should have known that you would have forgiven me for anything. I’m so sorry.” Steve buried his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck and Bucky felt wetness on his shoulder so he held Steve even tighter. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” he whispered over and over as Steve cried quietly into his shoulder. When Steve pulled back Bucky placed his lips on Steve’s golden head of hair and held there as Steve rested his forehead on Bucky’s chest. It felt like they could almost be back in 1930’s Brooklyn, him and Steve are about the same height but in this position Steve looks so much smaller and where Steve is slim, Bucky is muscly so people assume Bucky is taller. 

“I love you Stevie,” Bucky whispered into his ear. Steve stiffened against him and before Bucky had time to panic Steve had pulled him into soft kiss. “I remember this, he-I always wanted to kiss you” Bucky said, brushing a finger across Steve soft, pouty bottom lip. “I wanted to say it, it’s the thing I regret the most that I didn’t get to tell you before I fell. You don’t have to say it back but know that I love you so much, more than anything.” Steve smiled softly, Bucky always loved his smile, it was like the sunshine on a rainy day.

“I love you too Buck, always have. Even when I thought you hated me.” Bucky grimaced. 

“I am so sorry. I know I it may take a while for you to completely forgive me” Steve smiled.

“That’s ok. I think we have a few more years ahead of us yet don’t you think?” Bucky grinned. The avengers were still clapping and whistling around them. Bucky grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him over to the empty couch. Sam smiled at him and Tony clapped him on the back. 

“I’m happy for you Steve” he whispered into his ear. Steve smiled shyly. Tony had been there for him, came with him to see Peggy when Sam couldn’t, let him sit in Tony’s workshop and talked to him when he had a nightmare, Tony was family. Bucky pulled Steve into his lap and played with his hair as Steve rested against his chest, listening to Bucky’s steady heartbeat. Natasha stood, surprising everyone. 

“I have something to say. A while ago Bruce and I had a talk” She walked over and grabbed his hand, “And we decided to give us a try, we both have a past that we can’t forget but hopefully we can build a better future for ourselves.” She smiled radiantly at Bruce who pressed a small kiss to the corner of her lips. Everyone cheered again and Natasha happily let herself be drawn down to Bruce. 

Jane stood up next, “Um Thor and I have some news, we weren’t going to tell anyone yet but I think now is the right time,” Jane looked to Thor who nodded excitedly. “I am 2 months pregnant.” Thor smiled widely and everyone gasped. Wanda jumped up to hug Jane as did Natasha while everyone yelled their congratulations. Pepper looked to Tony in the chatter, who nodded and grinned. Pepper pulled out her necklace and Natasha gasped. 

“You’re not” Pepper smiled shyly and nodded. 

“I asked her to marry me a week ago,” Tony started. 

“And I said yes” Pepper finished. Steve grinned and got up to hug Tony and Pepper. 

“Anyone else got any surprises?” Sam asked. 

Wanda stood, “I do not have a surprise but I do have something to say on behalf of my brother and myself” Clint smiled at her encouragingly. 

“My brother and I have been alone without a family for so many years and for so long we were angry at you Tony,” Pietro looked down and Clint kissed his hair. Tony looked sad and guilty. 

“But blaming you was wrong, you made the weapons but you did not fire them rather like James. You have given us so much, you gave us a home and we found a family here, with all of you. Pietro found his love here,” She said gesturing to him and Clint who smiled fondly, “And so have I.” She then grabbed Vision’s hand and he glided over to her and kissed her cheek. Wanda blushed and giggled. Everyone was stunned. 

“So I just wanted to say thank you, Steve for giving us a second chance, Clint for not giving up on us and Tony for giving us a family.” Wanda was teary as Tony walked over to her. 

“May I?” he asked, she nodded and he hugged her gently and Wanda hesitantly hugged him back. 

“Thankyou” she whispered, touching his mind gently. Tony nodded, subtly wiping his eyes. Everyone was happy.  
Steve looked around at all his friends. Thor and Jane happily talking about baby and wedding plans to Pepper and Tony, Bruce and Natasha joining in with their ideas and Wanda and Vision holding hands, giggling with Sam, Clint and Pietro. Bucky gently grabbed his chin and kissed him. 

“You know I would’ve have asked you to marry me eventually back in the war, secretly of course, Peggy, the commandos and maybe Howard if he was being good but it would still be real doll.” Steve blushed at the pet name. 

“Well why don’t you ask me now?” 

“Really you wanna?” Bucky asked, eyes shining. Steve shrugged. 

“Why not?” 

“Alright, Steve Rogers, will you marry me baby?” Steve kissed him again softly and whispered, 

“Hell yeah Buck.” 

Bucky laughed, loud and clear and everyone cheered and laughed around them. Steve and Bucky were a long tragic war story struggling to find each other and themselves in the new world. But now? Now they were home.

**Author's Note:**

> I love these two. And Tony. And Clint and Pietro. And Sam. I just love them all ok?


End file.
